Coping Mechanism
by loonie lupin
Summary: When Billy comes back to the room he's sharing with his partner who doesn't expect him, he learns about Don's coping mechanism. Warning: cutting.


**Title**: Coping Mechanism  
**Author: **loonie_lupin

**Fandom:** Numb3rs  
**Characters/Pairing:** Don, Billy (frienship only)  
**Spoiler**: No spoiler.  
**Rating: **FRT  
**Summary:** Billy finds out about Don's coping mechanism when he came back when his partner doesn't expect him

**Warning** : cutting  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and settings are not mine but the property of their creators.

**Coping Mechanism**

It was almost two in the morning when Coop headed back to the motel room he shared with Don. They had been on the road for a few weeks and had finally managed to catch up with their fugitive in the afternoon. Of course, it had been after another young woman had been killed and that was something he wasn't going to forgive himself for anytime soon. They should have been able to get a clue on where their prey was going to go way before anything like that happened. Of course, the reality of their job was that, sometimes, you have no way of preventing another meaningless death and the only thing you can do is make sure that the responsible go back to jail, the sooner the better, and doesn't get out ever again.

He had asked Don to come with him for a beer, or two, or five, but the other agent had politely declined the invitation. Coop had found that to be quite strange, the younger man usually always up to celebrate once a criminal caught, but it was true that in the few months they had worked together, it was the first time they had another victim. That was bound to dampen the joy of the capture a lot.

Billy opened the door without too much problem. Thankfully he wasn't drunk, just a little tipsy. Since he had been out alone, he hadn't wanted to risk it. He had seen way too many things happen during his career to enjoy getting plastered alone when he was outside. It was bound to end up badly one time or another.

The light was on, Billy noticed, which was strange. He would have thought his partner had gone to bed hours before. What was even strange was that the bed was undisturbed, which mean that Don had been in the bathroom since the moment they had come back from their hunt. Something was wrong with that picture, very wrong.

Coop frowned and set the key down on the desk before heading to the bathroom, to see what was happening. He called out to Don, just to enable him to say something if he didn't want Coop to come in but, when he didn't receive any answer, he entered and stopped dead in his track, his breath hitching.

Don was there, at least physically, but his shirt was on the floor and his arms bleeding. He was still holding the razor blade in his right hand, but he wasn't moving to make another cut, which was already something. He was looking in the mirror and, somehow, his eyes found Billy's.

"Don, put the blade down, please," Billy said carefully, after opening and closing his mouth a few times, trying to find what to say.

God, how many times did he say something like that to a criminal who was holding a gun on somebody, most of the time him? But it wasn't a criminal, that time around. It was Don, his partner, and it just wasn't the same thing.

Don, mercifully, didn't offer any resistance and simply did what he was asked to before turning to Billy, blood running on his arm before dropping to the floor. When their eyes met directly, Billy was able to read Don's desperation but also his fear of being judged by Billy.

Coop entered the room and went directly for the towels. He took one, put it in the lavabo to wet it before taking Don's arm and trying to get the bleeding under control. Don wasn't talking but was letting him do as he wished with his body, as if he had no more will. Billy took opportunity of that and dragged his partner inside the bedroom, making him sit on his bed.

They stayed silent for a while, until Billy was sure that the wound had stopped bleeding. Thankfully, Don hadn't done too much damage and it wasn't all that deep a wound so it didn't take long. He took away the towel and got up.

"Change your clothes," Billy said, wanting Don to be ready to go to bed because it was late and there was no way that they could have that particular conversation now.

Coop was tired and, even though the whole thing seemed to have sobered him up of his tipsy state, it didn't change the fact that he still had too much alcohol in his system and he was afraid he would say or do something he would regret later; at that point, he didn't think that he had any margin of error if he wanted Don to get better and not worse.

When he came back to the bedroom, after dropping the towel up in the bathroom and taking the first aid kit they kept there for if one of them was injured, Don was in his pajamas and looking expectantly at him.

"You're going to report me?" he asked, the first time since Billy came back that he talked.

Coop sighed as he sat down on the bed and motioned to Don to give him his arm, beginning to bandage it.

"It depends of you," he said carefully and, when he saw Don frowning, wondering what he meant by that, he elaborated. "For now, I'm going to keep my mouth shut but you have to promise me that you're going to stop."

"Coop, I-"

Coop gestured with his hand, cutting his protest out.

"Listen, I will help you, the best I can I promise, but you will have to find another way to cope with whatever made you do it this time around because you know that I can't not tell anyone if it goes on. And I really don't want to have to report you."

And Don knew, of course he knew that Billy didn't have a choice in the matter. You had to report it if you thought that there was only a risk of an agent being a risk to himself or others. Billy was already taking some risk by not reporting it immediately and giving him a choice about it, but that didn't mean it was going to be very easy. He had been using that method for a very long time now, beginning when he was only a teenager, and sometimes feeling himself bleed was the only way for him to find some kind of peace.

He just nodded to tell Billy he understood him but he kept his eyes down. He couldn't shake off the feeling that he had somehow disappointed his partner and it was something he had never wanted to happen. He had too much respect for Coop for that but, of course, he had never really thought about what would happen if the man ever caught him red-handed.

Billy, as if sensing something like that was crossing the mind of the younger agent, put a hand under his chin and coaxed him gently to look at him.

"It's late. Why don't you go to sleep and we will talk about it in the morning, alright?"

Don just nodded, assenting that it would be for the best because he was so tired he was probably not thinking straight anymore.

Billy got up but stopped another time, frowning and turning to Don.

"The urge has totally passed, right? You don't feel the need to cut more?"

Smiling a little at his partner understanding of the situation, he shook his head.

"No, it's better for now," he assured.

"If it comes back during the night, I really don't care what time it is, but you wake me up, alright? You feel you need to cut, the first thing you do is to wake me up."

Don assured to Billy that he would do that before sliding under the covers and watch Billy do the same and he felt asleep, under the watchful eyes of his partner, as Billy was looking at him, like he would have looked after a little brother and he waited until he heard Don's breath even out and deepen before letting himself go into Morpheus' arms.


End file.
